Have you ever sat in a room with the door closed beating yourself up over what just happened in the next room? Well, I’ve got news for you… you’re not the only one.
Have you tried to be a calm mom but everything you’ve tried has just fallen flat? Again, you’re not alone.
As mothers, we are given this responsibility to care for, raise and love these little beings that we created. They are the greatest blessings ever bestowed upon us but they can make you want to pull your hair out at times.
UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOUR TRIGGERS ARE
This one can be tough because we have so many things going on in our daily lives and from one day to the next your triggers can be significantly different. Being aware of what is making you angry each time will help you to quickly identify those triggers and diffuse them.
Here are some common triggers:
- Dirty house
- Telling your kids to perform a task more than once
- Kids that are bored or hungry (all the time)
- Errands that needed to be done but you were unable to find the time
- Lack of quiet time
- Lack of “mom time”
- Lack of the feeling of support
Do any of those sound familiar? Finding what triggers your anger will teach you how to be a calm mom when they happen again so take note of the things that set you off.
When your kids are always hungry it can make us feel like we aren’t adequately caring for them.
Anger can also arise because your kids are bored. They can make you feel like you aren’t giving them enough attention which can feel like a kick in the gut. Especially when you’re trying to get that to-do list done that happens to be a mile long.
Keep a notebook and write these down as they happen!
UNDERSTANDING THEIR BEHAVIORS & BIG EMOTIONS
Kids have big emotions and often times don’t know how to deal with them. It’s important to give them space to express those feelings otherwise they can end up just as angry as you are!
Teach your kids to talk through their emotions. Help them express those emotions and behaviors by getting on their level and talking through it. You can even teach them to use affirmations and breathing techniques that you may even learn to use.
LEARN HOW TO BE A CALM MOM
This one isn’t going to happen overnight and will take a lot of mental reminders along the way. That isn’t to say it can’t happen because it can! Once you’ve figured out what your triggers are then you can learn to combat them and be a calm mom.
You can start by saying affirmations that will remind you that you’re a good mom. Print them out and leave them all over the house as a reminder to yourself.
Here are some different ways to be a calm mom:
- Affirmation cards
- Make room for quiet time
- Get a hobby
- Read a book
- Get good sleep
- Accept that there will be challenges
- Embrace the “yes” instead of “no”
From time to time we just need space and quiet time. Making that a priority for everyone in the house can help a lot in the patience department as a mom.
Journaling, reading or digging into your favorite hobby can also be a game changer. When you get dedicated time for yourself things can really take a turn!
Lastly, learning acceptance could make all the difference. Accepting that there will be challenges throughout the day will force you to be aware. Find out how to say yes more than no. Set yourself up for fewer power struggles by only providing things you and your kids will say yes too.
If it means giving two options for lunch or playtime then plan around that for the week. When the time comes you’ll be prepared to say yes instead of now and diffuse the power struggle before it begins.
GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION FOR SPACE & SELF-CARE
With all of the demands, we have as moms this one could be the most important. We are always giving back to our family but we rarely take. This can be a mindset shift but it needs to happen!
Give yourself the permission you need to take care of yourself.
Work it out with your spouse to have the time you need. Then close the door and do whatever it is that you’re wanting to do. Studies have shown that avoidance and relaxation are sometimes the best things to avoid the anger.
Write it on your to-do list and make it a priority to take time for yourself.
Once you have learned what your triggers are and how to diffuse them then start trying different things. Maybe pick up a few books to read and have on hand. Building out your parenting toolbox will help you to be prepared no matter what the situation. This can help you to be a calm mom in any situation. Print your affirmation cards, build a support network, and be mindful.
Set yourself up for success today and grab your free calm mom printable cards now!
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