The leap into motherhood can be a joyous one. Something you can never prepare fully for. No matter how many books you read or classes you attend, nothing can truly prepare you for embracing motherhood and the love you will feel for this little thing. When you’re expecting your first child, you have these grand expectations of being this Mary Poppins mother (at least I did). In fact, the expectation I had for myself was to be a better mother to my child than I had growing up. Until, it all changed.
When you’re pregnant there are all of these milestones you pass; these activities you do to pass the time. First comes the 13-week mark where your chance of miscarriage drops dramatically. Then you look forward to nausea and vomiting to the end. You impatiently wait to start feeling your baby move. Then you wait nervously to have an ultrasound. This time is one of great anticipation. The ultimate hurry up and wait for it game.
But until you become a mom and truly experience all of the ups and downs, you cannot possibly begin to understand what we go through day in and day out. All of the things that are suddenly asked of us from the moment we deliver that child is beyond comprehension. Suddenly we are supposed to start embracing motherhood, and yet we may not even know what that means for us.
It’s likely you are a mom if you’re reading this and your journey to being a mom is one that has been unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Am I right?
That’s why I tell expectant parents, (yes even dads) that their lives will never be their own ever again. I have never done this to stress anyone out or make them dread their upcoming life change. I was never warned that making that leap into motherhood would change my life and myself so drastically.
I have never been a patient person. Ever. Not once in my life can I recall being patient about anything. Embracing motherhood and all it has to offer hasn’t been any different.
That’s why I have struggled so much internally with this role I have taken on. I don’t regret becoming a mom. It’s the greatest thing I’ve done in this life. It will continue to be the greatest thing until the day I die.
I’ve struggled with impatience, time management, anger, guilt…
Then one day after having yet another outburst with my child, I decided right then and there enough was enough. I was becoming a monster and that is not the mom I pictured when I gave birth to my child. I didn’t want either of my daughters to grow up with this angry, impatient, monster mommy that I had started to become.
THE SHIFT: EMBRACING MOTHERHOOD
To ultimately take the reins of embracing motherhood you have dreamt of from the moment that pregnancy test showed two pink lines, you will have to shift.
RESET & RENEW
You will have to reset the position you are currently in. That will mean changing the way you parent. By not allowing yourself to get angry or show your irritation, you are choosing to take a different path. You are choosing to be something bigger than what you were previously.
Choosing to have conversations with your loved ones and play with them when they ask will give you a reset. These things will show your family the love you have for them and how they are indeed more important than the errands you have to run.
Choose connection and priorities that are family-centric over being busy will never be a mistake. Connection with your family will foster growth and love. It will bring you closer together.
To grow out of the shell you currently live in will take some work, but it can all be done with love. For you to grow as a mom you will have to continue to put others before yourself, but that isn’t an excuse to neglect yourself.
Growth will mean choosing to soften your voice and body language when facing opposition from your kids.
Growth will be choosing kindness and love, over anger and frustration.
Growth will be choosing family, over busy to do lists.
When you make the conscious effort to become a better mother and take the path to motherhood you had always wanted to, you have to build new habits.
Whatever it was that made you frustrated and impatient before has to change. Whether that was the mile-long list of errands, school pickups and dropoffs, or three-course meals every single night. Something has to give and it can’t be you. You are the one constant in the sea of change.
You will need to make an effort to create routines that you can live by.
You may even need to learn to put your phone down and only allow yourself certain times to be on it.
You will choose to live life right now. Raw, moving forward and not in the rearview.
All of this cannot happen overnight, nor should it. You are adjusting to a new way of life almost. The growth that you will experience from this new path will be tremendous if you simply stick with it. If you had a bad day today then just remind yourself that you are worthy and tomorrow is a new day.
Grab my affirmation cards and join the 4-day free email course to start making strides towards the mom you’ve always wanted to be. When I did these things, I noticed a change in my attitude, habits, and overall happiness. I have felt a sense of joy and ability to be present. Making my family a priority was the best decision ever; those errands will be there tomorrow. If you only have a few hours with your child today, spend them with those that matter the most.
Just remember- You begin and end the day as a wife and mother. Everything in between is just filler. You choose today to live your life here and now. Everything else can come second. Click the pretty picture to get started!