“Nat, just get your clothes off the bathroom floor and clean up your disaster of a room. Gosh, why do these kids never listen? Am I the only one that cares what this house looks like?”
It happened again. I felt like we were on a good path, propelling towards a happy and joyous weekend.
Something switched inside of me and for whatever reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I was snapping at everyone and everything around me.
No one could possibly live up to my impossible standards today.
Then it happened.
My husband stopped me, grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Slow down, be kind. They are just kids.”
You see we have a pact. We tell each other in a nonchalant way when we need to be calm and correct our course.
I needed that reminder but that was only the beginning of what was about to happen inside my head.
So You Feel Like A Bad Mom?
I was feeling pretty crappy at this point. My husband just flipped the light on inside my head and I saw first hand what I was doing.
Not only to my kids and to him but to myself.
When we get in these funks it’s hard to see what the cause and effect is.
You see he flipped the light on and revealed what was happening for me.
This made me feel like a bad mom.
Related: How To Be A Good Mom Instead of A Perfect Mom
Why Do We Feel Like This?
We often feel like this because of the guilt. The guilt is crippling.
It comes most often after missed opportunities, lost patience, yelling at them, not packing perfect lunches or planning crafty activities…
Mom guilt isn’t something I’m too fond of and I’ve had my fair share.
You don’t have to allow it to overcome you. No. You can choose to embrace it.
Embracing the guilt is telling your brain that you’re not perfect. Because none of us are.
Embrace your imperfections, Mama, because you are doing just fine.
Flipping The Switch & Being Present
Overcoming a terrible, no good, bad mom day is going to take some practice.
I’ve been down bad mom avenue a few too many times to count and every time I ended up feeling like a crappy mom for days.
But it’s time to flip the switch and know that you aren’t a bad mom.
In fact, you are a great mom but you’re discounting yourself a little too much and that can be hard to see when you feel like a bad mom.
So how do you fix it then?
It’s going to take practice but stopping and being present for your kids…
Be present when they say, “Hey Mom, come look at this.”
Letting go of the timetable you have set for yourself and allowing life to happen.
I guarantee you that your kids won’t remember if you got their lunches perfectly packed or you burned the toast at breakfast.
But you will remember all the times that you dismissed them because “I need 5 more minutes…” All the while life is just passing by.
You may have missed the exciting thing you son wanted to show you or the sweet love that your daughter wanted to give you.
Learning to be present for your kids will take a lot of practice.
And in those moments when you need a few more minutes because you are putting away laundry or making a meal plan and you don’t want to stop what you’re doing… ask your kids to hop in and help.
It’s not foolproof but it’s an opportunity to connect that you may have missed.
Related: Hey Mama, You Are Looking For Happiness in All The Wrong Places
Just Remember, You Have Today…
And at the end of it all a reminder that you have today. You have today Mama.
If you’re feeling like an especially bad mom just remember that you have today to course correct.
You can stop snapping and feeling like the world is crumbling down on you and just embrace the moments right in front of you.
Take them all in.
Yesterday is in the past and today is right in front of you.
And if you’re at the end of today, you have tomorrow.
Choose to be present. Put the things aside that don’t need to be done. The laundry and dishes can wait.
Choose to be present and show your kids the love and kindness they are asking for.
And remember, despite the voice in your head making you feel like a bad mom, you aren’t.
If you need some extra motivation grab your free affirmation cards!