Continuing to be a calm mom when your child is throwing a massive tantrum can put any mom’s patience to the test.
Just picture it. You’ve been ushering after your kid all day. Picking up messes, wiping butts and fighting over what they want to eat. Then you have to make a quick trip out to the store only to realize your kid didn’t have a nap.
You know what I’m talking about right? They see something they want and you tell them something like, “maybe next time!”
Then it happens. The screaming. Crying. Oh, the crying. Kicking and wailing. Their world is literally ending and everyone around you is looking on within silent judgment.
Although in that moment you think they’re judging you… in all likelihood, they probably aren’t. But that doesn’t stop the anger and frustration from building inside of your body and theirs.
So what do you do? How do you stay calm and try to calm your child down as well?
REMEMBER TO BE A CALM MOM NO MATTER WHAT
In those trying moments when your child is experiencing a trying time, it’s crucial to keep your cool. What you do when they have a tantrum will set the standard for how they act when someone else is giving them a hard time.
There are so many things you can do to be a calm mom in that moment, it’s just important that you remember it when the time comes.
PHRASES TO REPEAT
You can repeat phrases to yourself to keep your cool. Often times just a simple phrase will do the trick. Just repeat it several times while taking a deep breath.
“My child is not the sum of his actions.”
“I will keep my patience no matter what.”
“I will be a calm mom no matter what.”
Sayings like those when said several times over will help you to keep a level head.
ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE
You can action instead if that helps you and your child out more. Sometimes just busting out a few dance moves to a favorite song can do the trick. Anything to get the focus off of the issue at hand.
- Give your child a hug.
- Take a timeout together.
- Go for a walk together.
- Play with toys that test your brain so you take you both take your mind off of the situation.
- Have a dance party.
- Do some yoga.
PHRASES TO SAY TO YOUR CHILD IN THE MOMENT
So many times we get caught up in the moment and don’t realize the words coming out of our mouths are more hurtful than expected.
Saying things like these do more harm:
“You are being difficult.”
“Stop getting angry!”
“Why do I have to keep saying the same things?”
RELATED: HOW TO HANDLE ANGER & BE A CALM MOM
Instead, say things like this:
“I understand you’re frustrated but can you use your words to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“I know you feel like you need to shout to get your point across but can we use our inside voice instead?”
“I understand you’re having a difficult time right now but can we figure this out together?”
Simply using a phrase that acknowledges their frustration will signal to your little one that you really do love them and want to help them in that hard time.
No matter what you do you will want to try to be a calm mom. It’s important to keep your cool so you can teach your child how they should react in the future. Tantrums are tough because often times our kids aren’t able to truly express their feelings. But that doesn’t give us a free pass to scream and yell right along with them.
Try these methods out the next time your child throws a tantrum and don’t forget to grab the Calm Mom Toolkit and stick it on your fridge as a reminder.
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