This blog post contains affiliate links. I only recommend things I believe in and love. Learn more.
I just want to be a perfect mom but it happened again. I yelled at my kid. I was going about my morning around the house and the oldest daughter wasn’t out of bed yet. She was taking her sweet time getting up without realizing the time was inching closer for her to get on the bus.
So I did my due diligence and went to yell at her hoping it would hurry her along. You see in my chase to be the perfect mom I’ve lost sight of who I am and the mom I want to be. This hasn’t been an easy pill to swallow. I had to ask myself, “What am I really chasing here?”
The answer to that question stressed me out and made me feel a lot less “perfect” than I was trying to be.
But as moms, we often have to remember we can’t do it all. We can’t be everything for everyone. Even our kids need to understand the importance of mom not being the sole provider of every single thing for them. Even though we have conditioned them for years to come to us. Often times they choose us even over their father.
I’m sure you’ve seen the memes or jokes floating around about how your kid will walk right past their father to have you open their snack or sign their folder? Yeah, I’ve seen them too and they are so very true.
Except, sometimes we really need to let go and encourage our kids to do things on their own or ask someone else for help. We cannot be a perfect mom all the time.
You see I’d rather be a good mom. I want to be that mom that when my kids are talking to their friends they don’t complain about me. The way they relay their mom to their friends will be appreciative and loving. That I understand they made mistakes but didn’t judge them for it. You know what I’m talking about, right?
So how do we as moms become that “good mom”
Be intentional. Choose to be intentional with your time that you have with them. As soon as my daughter gets off the bus we read out of one of her library books. I usually do the reading because she’s checked out a chapter book, but I’m being intentional with that time. There are no phones, no music, no tv… just us and our book.
Be forgiving. When your child makes a mistake choose forgiveness over anger and grudges. To be a good mom you need to realize and recognize your child is human and not perfect either. When they spill something on the floor for the fifth time choose forgiveness. Get down on the floor and say, “you know we all have off days occasionally” and help them clean it up.
Be present. Instead of texting at each stop light or always taking pictures choose to be present in that moment. Use the stop light to peek back at your kids and see what’s going through their minds. To be a good mom you must learn to put the phone down more often and just be there with your kids in the moment.
Choose love. In every situation choose love over anything else. Putting the pieces of a broken heart back together is so much harder than choosing love in the first place. Choosing love will take you so much further on your journey to becoming a good mom.
I know we’ve all been there. You know the place. It’s ugly and there are usually tears involved. It’s not typically an actual, physical place but an emotional one. A place where we question everything we’re doing as a mom. We ask ourselves, “how am I supposed to be a good mom when I can’t even get this right?”
Well, there isn’t such a thing as a perfect mom. No matter how much our parents screwed us up you cannot be perfect for your kids. I know this first hand. I grew up in an emotionally and mentally abusive household. Everything I did or thought was out of fear of punishment. My punishment was typically something that involved cleaning while the adults spoke out loud to themselves about how useless I was. That whole experience has driven me to become “a good mom” and often times “a perfect mom” but you see there isn’t such thing as perfect.
Despite my drive to be something impossible doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. It’s caused more undue stress and unmet expectations than anything else.
So if you want to be a good mom choose to be intentional, forgiving, be present and choose love.
Those 4 things will get you so much further and leave so many awesome memories for your kids as they grow up than packing the perfect lunchbox, being on time to everything or even having a facade of never making mistakes.
Choose to be a “good mom” today. If you’re in need of a little extra push sign up for my free 8-week email series. Each week you will receive an email that contains encouragement and inspiration as well as a pretty printable.
Are you stressed mama?
Get a weekly email straight to your inbox full of inspiration + a free printable to encourage you on your journey through motherhood.