Being a mom is tough. I’ve talked about it before and I’ll continue talking about it. Reclaiming the joy for motherhood can be a battle that we can win with the right weapons (no not real weapons).
I think the many things that challenge us as moms are two-fold. They are part of what makes us want to run the other way and what makes us want to stay on an almost drug-addicted high.
Have you ever sat and dreamt about what life would be like if you got up off the couch one day and left? What would your little piece of paradise look like?
Mine would be a house with a wraparound porch on the edge of a lake with a mountain backdrop. I would sit on a porch swing and consume books I’ve always wanted to read, hike and nap on demand. I wouldn’t have to share my food, clean up puke or do the laundry for that matter.
Do these thoughts make me feel guilty? Yes. Do I act on them? No.
You see we have so many forces pulling at us each day. When we are in that rut of weariness and despair it’s hard to see through to the other side.
That’s why we must fight with all of our might to get back to where we want to be. Joyous, loving, happy, carefree.
RECLAIMING THE JOY FOR MOTHERHOOD
This is no easy task let me just lay that out there right now. I’ve been in this thing for 9 years cumulatively and I’m not any closer to being the super happy mama I’ve always dreamt of. You know the one… Mary Poppins?
That’s the great thing about this journey of embracing motherhood that we’re on. We get to design it however we see fit.
There isn’t a magical answer or one-size fits all approach. But there is love in our hearts and children at our feet that need us.
WHY DID YOU WANT TO BE A MOM
First, you need to take a step back and evaluate why you became a mom in the first place. What was that reasoning?
I wanted to give them the life I never got to have. I was shuffled around as a child between divorced parents. I grew up in a house that fostered tension, hate and grudges.
So for me, it was to give my children a home and love that was unconditional. No matter what they did, who they married or where they chose to live in their lives I would always love them.
TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I WAS GIVEN
I was given a gift to hold, love and raise as my own. I could share them with who I wanted or keep them for myself. This gift of motherhood wasn’t one that I took on lightly. Yes, my pregnancy with Natalee was a total surprise, but one that still makes me smile to this day. I remember getting pregnant with her (it was fun).
So take a moment to be grateful for the gift that you were given because not all women are allowed that privilege.
MAKING TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE
I think this is a topic that is often looked over in many of the posts I’ve read about this very topic. For me though as a wife and mother it’s important that I spend time with my husband just the two of us.
He is quick to remind me that I’m a decent human being despite my yelling at the kids. He brings me back to earth and lets me know that I’m not alone. He reminds me of the goals we have for ourselves, kids and family.
Being with your spouse alone doing more than a quick deed in the bedroom is vital. You need connection and the way to that is by spending time with your spouse.
MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF
This one is more obvious, but again it needs to be done. You need time to yourself to do more than shower, poop, and sleep.
You were an individual before you had kids, remember? You know that little daydream you have of running away and living in a cottage by the beach? Yeah her. She’s still inside of you and she needs to be nurtured.
If you have any hope of reclaiming the joy for motherhood then you must pamper her. Challenge her. Love on her.
Self-care is this new mysterious topic but women have been doing it for years and years. However, I feel as if self-care is more important than just getting a pedicure. It’s something you do to strengthen yourself as a person. Working on self-development, exercising, meditating are all great ways to practice self-care.
SO WHAT IS IT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO AGAIN?
Great, I’m glad you asked! While you are a great mom already despite what you think you can reclaim your joy for motherhood.
- Ask yourself why you became a mom in the first place.
- Practice gratitude for the gift of motherhood you were given.
- Make time for your spouse.
- Make time for yourself.
While these things may only be the start for you at least it’s a place to begin your journey back.
So how are you going to reclaim your joy for motherhood?