It never fails, on the days that you really want to make time for yourself the kids are being relentless. Am I right?
Their needs are at an all-time high and the tantrums seem to never stop.
At least that’s how it seems to go in my house.
When the cup runs dry, their dials seem to crank up too high.
But that doesn’t mean we should neglect the opportunity to make time for ourselves.
If there doesn’t seem to be time, then we should make it. Right? Right!
So let’s figure out how to do that together and make it count.
WE ARE BUSY PEOPLE OR SO WE THINK
You’ve been there.
I’ve been there.
It happens. The words just fall right out of your mouth before you realize what you’re saying. Then you start believing them.
“I’m too busy.”
Those 3 little words can mean the difference between stressful, overwhelm, and sanity.
But they need to stop clogging up our vocabulary. Let me tell you why.
Because you cannot and should not have to sacrifice yourself for your families needs.
Now I may know what you’re thinking.. but my families needs are my needs and I am responsible for them.
Yes. Yes, you are.
But that doesn’t mean their needs are more important than yours.
In fact, in my humble opinion, our needs as moms are more important than the rest of the family and the reasoning is just what I said above.
Because our entire family is our responsibility. Of course, we share that responsibility with a spouse (in most cases) but that is still a lot for us to take care of. Thus, make time for yourself… is a must!
Accepting that we have needs too
As I said above, it’s vital for us as moms to make time for ourselves.
But the first step is accepting the fact that we have needs too.
Our day is surrounded by little humans shouting out demands, throwing their things everywhere and you know everything else we have (laundry, cooking, cleaning, work if you work)…
It’s exhausting and can take a lot out of us mamas.
So you’ve gotta just speak up and tell everyone you’re making time for yourself.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m not done here.
MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF
That’s what you’ve come here for, right?!
If you’ve read any other posts similar to this one you would have seen tips like schedule it in, learn to say no, etc. While those are practical, they aren’t all of what I’m giving you today…
If you want to make time for yourself you have to set your intentions from the beginning.
Once you’ve accepted the fact that you need time for yourself, now you set the intention.
You do that by letting your family know whats banging around inside of your brain. It’s tough to wade through all of what’s going on in there, but you should be doing this regularly.
Schedule it in
Yes, this is one of those practical tips and I do this myself.
It works too. I like to do all of my planning Saturday night or Sunday morning. I plan meals, bills, errands, tasks around the home, work stuff, kids stuff, time with my husband… and self-care.
This is an effective method to ensure you have time for you. To relax, unwind and focus on you.
Make it a daily practice
Another really great option is to make it a daily thing.
One thing I’ve done as of late is putting the girls to bed and taking 30 minutes before bedtime to bust out some yoga.
It’s been helping me to build my flexibility, calm my mind and relax my body and mind before I go to bed.
It started as a way to get some stretching in before bed and has flourished into my time. Something just for me right before bed to help me to wash away the stress from the day.
It’s good for the body, mind and soul!
Support your friends
This is an unusual way to make time for yourself right? Well, this has proven to be a very effective method for me to gain time for me.
I support my friends when they need it the most and in return, they do the same for me.
I have a couple friends right in my neighborhood that watch my girls when I really need it.
We do this for each other knowing that we each need that time to gain back some sanity.
This is a great way to nurture relationships with friends as well.
It takes a village Mama. Find yours!
Shifting your mindset and learning to let go
Learning to let go and working on my mindset has been a game changer for me.
When my oldest was a little younger I thought self-care was just doing my nails. You might hear me say that… self-care is more than a manicure.
Well for me at that time that was my self-care. I didn’t realize there was another entire side of me I needed to nurture.
Our emotional and mental health is just as important.
Shifting your mindset is key here.
Stop saying, “I don’t have time.”
Stop mindlessly binge-watching tv or social media.
Stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. Take that time! You deserve it.
You are not neglecting your loved ones by shutting the door and doing something for just you.
Start telling yourself that you deserve it, because you do.
Enlist help from outside sources
If you’re anything like me then your spouse probably works a lot. Which means you may not be able to rely on them to be there for your kids when it’s time for you to steal away your time.
This is where you should hire a babysitter or enlist the help of a family member (if you can do that).
But don’t just hire a babysitter then sit in front of the tv. Do something fun that you never get to do.
Go out to eat, watch a movie, go to the park and hike… all by yourself.
MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF… WITH THE KIDS AROUND
So the kids are always around, huh? Well, you may be like me in a lot of ways and not have family near. I do have friends but I can’t ask them all of the time.
So I make it happen when the kids are around too.
But how you ask?
Well, it’s simple. You have to set them up for success first.
- Set them up with mystery boxes
- Pull together a few of their favorite toys
- Get them a craft to work on
- I’ve even been known to deprive them of TV all day and put on a movie for them
These are all great little tricks to get them settled down so you can have some time to read a book or do something for just you.
I like to do this and sit down with my journal or a good book, or both.
Sometimes depending on what I’m reading, I’ll jot down little things that I can put into action in my life.
Other times I’ll do some yoga, or lay on the floor perfectly still and just breathe in and out.
With the kids busy and well aware that mama is taking time for herself, I just get to do my thing.
Now it’s not always perfect. Sometimes they fight, sometimes they interrupt me, but it’s all about routine.
Once you start, if you guide them back to their task at hand, eventually, they will catch on.
If you have older kids that understand then you can just have a talk with them. Let them know what you’re doing and why, and that it’s important to you.
They love being let in on little secrets so you can even treat it like your little secret.
Honestly, training your kids to have that time for themselves too will lead to your kids needing that quiet time too. They will soak it up when it comes.
LET’S COME FULL CIRCLE
Did you skip to the bottom? Yeah, I do that too sometimes.
Here’s the lowdown… You need to make time for yourself and to do it you need a few things in place.
- Get rid of the notion that you’re too busy.
- Accept that you have needs that need to be filled.
- Set your intentions with yourself and your family.
- Schedule your time in.
- Make it a daily practice.
- Support your friends and they will support you.
- Shift your mindset and start telling yourself you deserve the time for you.
- Enlist the help of a babysitter or family.
- If the kids are around start by setting them up with a few toys or a craft. Train them to thrive on that quiet time too.
It’s vital that you spend time nurturing your own mind, body and soul. So find it within yourself and get started today! If you need a little help in the scheduling department, grab my free printable for planning and start right now.
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