It was another one of those moments when I had logged into the bank account to check our bank balance when I noticed it. Yet another charge for a video game had come through. I would have to go and talk to my spouse about money and the feeling that came along with it was frustrating.
When it comes to money and relationships there has to be a healthy balance and for it to work there must be communication. Without it, there will be fights and they won’t be pretty.
Because everyone is raised differently and every single person has different hopes and dreams it will be hard to find someone that has your exact outlook on money. I’m not saying impossible but there will be disagreements.
You have to make a point to talk about everything. Do not keep secrets.
When it comes to marriage and money there cannot be secrets. If you’re going out and buying a $100 purse or pair of shoes your spouse should be in on that decision. At the end of the day, it will be a lot less painful if you talk about it beforehand. My Grandmother once told me, “There is no room for secrets in a marriage.” That little piece of wisdom has kept her marriage alive (along with many other things) for nearly 60 years. You must communicate with your spouse about the big things.
You have to sit down together and discuss financial goals and set priorities to match.
As with anything else you set out to do in life you must set financial goals with your spouse. It’s likely that you have joint debt and aspirations to retire someday. Am I right? Well here’s the thing… You must both be on the same road otherwise, someone will inevitably veer off and take a wrong turn to nowheresville and it will lead to arguments.Once you figure out what your financial goals are then you can determine what your priorities should be. This will light up the path to your financial future together. Keep in mind these aren’t set in stone and can be revisited at any time. Life throws us curve balls and we have to take one in the face now and then, but that’s okay. Because you have a goal you will be able to tweak your process a little bit to stay moving towards it.
You have to be realistic.
No for real. You have to be realistic about money, goals, priorities, spending habits… you name it. Both of you must stay down here on earth. If you set an outrageous goal with no way to complete it then you will end up stuck and frustrated and likely back where you started. No matter what your situation you must be realistic about it.
Make room for each other’s wishlists.
Let’s face it. It’s nice to treat yourself to something nice here and there. This doesn’t mean you have a blank check to write. It means you get to splurge a bit on the things you want and no one can make you feel guilty about it. Last year my husband had worked really hard and saved his money throughout the year. When it came time for him to enroll in classes he could have easily bought a cheap laptop to get him by for a few years, but it wasn’t what he wanted. So he shopped around and found what he wanted and bought it. Ultimately, I couldn’t complain about it because we had made room in our budget for him to make that purchase.
Each month we both put a little bit of cash aside just for our own little slush fund. By making room for our own wants and needs every month in the budget the arguments about frivolous spending on video games have subsided.
Always put your spouse before the price tag.
You should never put money first in any situation. It can be tough and you may even have a good point for being frustrated with your spouse over money, however, you should always take your spouse’s side. When you have good goals in place and you know the road you are on then it will make it easier to side with your spouse when that time comes.
Money causes arguments. It causes stress, anxiety and a lot of sleepless nights. It has caused a lot of divorces. Money has been the driving factor behind our society for years. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you go someone always has a hand in your bank account. You cannot let this put a wedge between you and your spouse. You must always put your spouse before the price tag. At the end of the day, you are married to your spouse, not the bank account. Grab my easy goal planning worksheet and sit down with your spouse today to figure out what road you are on!
So what do you do to talk to your spouse about money?
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